Trust

No man is an island, but at one point in my life, I put myself on an island. I was young and felt alone. My thoughts turned inward, and I decided I did not need anyone else. This led to a lack of trust. 

Even though I no longer feel alone, it is still hard for me to trust people. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a solid group of friends, yet I still struggle to trust them.

The three people I trust most do not live in the same city as me. I love confiding in these friends, but it is hard to do so when they live in a different city. My friends in town are great, but I have not been able to open up to them. For quite some time, I have felt a growing desire to have someone in the same city as me to whom I can open up. 

However, over the past two weeks,  things have changed. I have had two different conversations with two different people where I was able to open up and talk about really personal topics. For an ordinary person, one or both of these conversations may not seem like a big deal, but for me this was huge. Opening up to these friends was a moment of significant growth for me.

Does this mean my struggle to trust has been conquered? No, it simply means I know I can trust these two friends, and that is a wonderful feeling.

If someone would have told me when I was ten years-old that someday I would have five friends with whom I could have heart-to-heart conversations, I would not have believed them. I have come along way, and I no longer feel the despair I once felt about my social life. Now, I have a solid social life and confidence that things will only get better.